ni hao

sooo....

the second week of school is well underway.

opinions...

i am not the biggest fan of my school. the people i have classes with are nice and so are my teachers, but i find the school itself is....well no university.

i could be much meaner about it, but its probably best not to be to descriptive. ^_^

anyways,

what saves me from totally quitting there are my language classes.

today alone, i had all three! it is quite the task to make my brain go from chinese to french to german all within 5 hrs of each other. but i figure that this will only make my brain better at thinking, so voila!

the only problem is that now my brain tries to think in 5 different languages. ha. fun right?

not to worry though, i actually really do like it.

it makes me realize how much i was not meant to live in the boring state of minnesota where no one ever does anything new, let alone learn a language (unless it is required). i really dont know why i never thought to do more languages before. the signs have been there all along!

in both college and high school spanish i was one of the only ones who truly loved learning and speaking the language. well i guess you know what they say...hindsight is 20/20...kinda makes sense.

anyways, at least i am on the right track now.

so as of now i have

english (i would hope) and

spanish

under my belt

and am learning

chinese

french

german

and want to eventually learn

japanese

korean

italian

hmmm so if i succeed i will be able to speak 8 languages...

sounds good to me! it will be a great aid in my ambitions to travel the world.

but for now its study study study...

and oh, study some more.

i dont mind it though because i am a dork and i think learning languages is fascinating and incredibly fun! estoy loca, no?

pues, ich must estudiar ahora (german and spanish put together hehe)

twill be an interesting night filled with french and chinese...how...odd

combinations,

annie em

new beginnings.

here i am...having completed my first day a la escuela nueva. it feels slightly odd to be not returning back to the place i have gone to school the past two years. but nonetheless i feel much freer than i ever did at bethel.

i love my language classes already and tomrorow is the first day of my art ones. it seems that life is more enjoyable knowing i can pay for school and begin to save for where i really want to spend

my time and money...

possible options are:

Judson University in chicago

Madison University (WI)

and thats about all i got right now.

AR is only a temporary fix until i find what really matters.

so anyways

i think this calls for a little random deviation from the natural topic of this blog...

ready?

subject change to...

kyuhyun.

i have recently (over the past few months) developed a fascination with asian culture and yes, one of my guily pleasures has become kpop music (korean pop)

some may call this slightly dorky, but i can tell you that it is addicting and highly entertaining...so what does kyuhyun have to do about all of this?

well glad you would ask!

he just so happens to be a very sexy member in one of the largest kpop groups, super junior....

(he is the one in the middle)

so anyways...to summarize. korean = pretty damn sexy.

there is proof.

it adds to my desire to go visit korea ^_^

just a little sparkle for your day,

annie em

musings

why hello.

and may i say what nice weather it has been. i do declare that this is what summer should be like all the time. none of this 90% humidity nonsense or whatever the heck it is...

i must say i cannot be more excited for fall.

anyways to say the least, things in life finally seem to have sorted themselves out. as this summer draws to a close i find myself looking back on many things in life, not only just in the past few years. this has been the summer of remembrance and realizing that everything in life happens for a reason. while one may not know the exact reason, i have discovered that the reason will usually present itself at some point (not always right when you need it however).

ellie just came to visit and i already cannot wait until we visit each other again. we unknowingly signed up for many of the same classes next semester so that should be interesting.

speaking of which, it is goodbye to bethel for me and hello to a school for which i dont need to pay an arm and a leg for. i am quite happy with this decision and i think it will be for the best. current school schedule...

Chinese

French

Drawing II

Painting I

folks it doesnt get much better than that (unless of course i was taking korean or german as well) there are many more languages to learn after all! the goal is ten by the way. i already know two so i am what, 1/5 of the way there.

so with school finally set in place i feel as though i can actually breathe a little easier again.

job hunting is ...well going. possible contenders include Pottery Barn and Costco. i need two jobs anyways with all the extra time on my hands.

so this blog was very boring...but i am thinking the next one will involve some very sexy men who happen to be from Korea.... ^_^

feeling optimistic,

annie em

i write to you from the mountains

yes

i am indeed in the mountains right now...well not IN them persay but fairly close.

im visiting my friend, Sam, who i know from school.

its very nice to be able to have a week away from life in MN to be able to experience a new state (COLORADO!) and clear my head for the weeks to come. ever notice how when one thing goes wrong/changes everything else either goes wrong/changes too.

its rather annoying and i find myself highly irritating that life tends to work this way, but then i suppose it wouldnt be called life.

i just turned nineteen 4 days ago and it makes me realize how little i know about the world and about myself. i had thrown myself into college a good year and a half earlier than most people so for the past 2 years i have been making choices which i should have just now been

making...major, schools, classes, ect.

sometimes the outlook on life seems very bleak and uncertain as it does now, but all i need to do is stand still and look. when i saw the mountains bike riding today i stopped riding and looked out into the landscape. i was overcome by a few great feelings....freedom, awe and hope.

i felt so free, like i couldnt have a care in the world. the large open space was where i could let my soul roam free and taste the carefree feelings that i so long for. awe at the God who created such a beautiful sight. and this awe led to feeling a little hopeful. surely a God who can inspire such freedom and awe must provide us with hope (as i know He does).

there is hope, it is sometimes just very hard to remember.

while i have many things i need to decide on right now, the mountains help me to remember what i need to do (and wow that sounds extremely cheesy, but oh so true).

tonight i talked with a friend which i had not spoken with for quite awhile. we had a very good talk because both of us are going/have gone through similar situations. he reminded me of how i am not the only one who deals with various problems and hurts. we are all suffering in a way and i am a believer that God puts people in our lives intentionally to help us deal with certain trials. for however brief or long a time they are there or if they come or go, they make the gray outlook we face seem a bit brighter and maybe even inspire hints of color. all i can say is that after a hard past few days, i am finally beginning to feel as though there may be some color in the future after all.

im sure there will be more to write the next few days as the mountains (and God) continue to work their knowing magic.

a picture of the creek on the back of the farm property. also beautiful but pics of the mountains coming soon

feeling a bit restored,

annie em

renewed?

i got the urge the other day at work to start writing blogs again. its been at least 3 months since my last one so i feel like its about time i wrote another one.

to start off with, life has taken a turn for the ...well i dunno if its best or worst. a little bit of both in a way

best / better - for once in a long time i feel somewhat free again. like i dont have to worry about certain things in my past. i feel like i can be independent and myself to some degree. i am much more confident than i was a few years ago which is a great improvement.

worst - home life. some people dont understand what it is like to come from a family where you feel so disconnected from your parents. they are supposed to be the two people in the world you can trust with anything and they should know you inside and out. i have neither of those two things which is sad. not only do my parents not know who i am, but they would kick me out of the house in a second for making one minor mistake. i know from experience within this last week. my dad basically told me that if i got so much as one little tatoo i would get kicked out of my house. now i had always thought my dad was the chill one who was actually somewhat sane in the ruder family, but he proved himself wrong. i honestly dont know how a parent could kick their kid out because of one little thing they decided to get on their body. while i dont have a tatoo yet, i have been thinking about getting one for awhile now, but i would get it somewhere that is easily hideable. to say the least, after i heard that spiel from my dad, i became very upset and left the house for about 3 hours. i am so frustrated by my parents and their hard-headedness and lack of openness to new ideas. because i am a person who is very much so based on being non-judgemental you can imagine how many problems this leads to in my everyday life.

to continue on (i guess by now you have noticed things have been more on the worse side as opposed to better) i basically decided that i want out of the house ASAP. i cannot stand it here anymore and i cannot stand my parents. the only things i would regret about leaving home would be leaving my sister and my brother. i wouldnt want to leave them in this place where i know they would just end up being worse off.

tonight me and steph looked at apartments.

i just want to be free. free from parents, free from a school i pay way too much to go to, free from the past, free from anything weighing me down, free from being weak.

there is so much right now that i just became confused about and i dont know what to do. it just proves to me that the only people i can trust in the world are myself and God. I learned these lessons the hard, and hurtful way. its not always easy to accept but i think my two new life mottos are 'talk is cheap' and 'what doesnt kill you makes you stronger'....ok well the last one has always been one of my mottos but still.

"remember to look over your shoulder, because the world is a cruel place"

- quote from Oma (wise woman, that one)

im in a bit of a depression, someone please pull me out.

annie em.

a fine frenzy.

So....

music influences in my life are HUGE
i probably listen to music at least 5 hours a day. maybe more.

silence bothers me sometimes and music fills it up and makes you feel better.

there is nothing better than finding a song or artist who can whip up some good lyrics either (as i have said before)

one artist i want to write about, because her influence upon me has been huge, is Alison Sudol of A Fine Frenzy. in my opinion she is classified as an indie singer/songwriter who has a wondrously haunting voice and unusual lyrics (at times). however, i love her music nonetheless.

Right now she has two albums out, One Cell in the Sea and Bomb in a Birdcage. i havent had a chance yet to really listen to the newest album, (BiaB) but from what i hear it is much different from OCithS.

I fell in love with her first album because of the significance it seemed to play in my life. and the music was beautiful as well. one of my all time favorite songs by her...well ok i have to pick more than one... so three....

1) Almost Lover

2) Come On, Come Out

3) Ashes & Wine

off One Cell in the Sea

Her lyrics are so powerful and they make you actually feel emotion. you can tell that she really does put her heart and soul into what she does. it makes me commend her all the more because i feel that music these days has lost its meaning in a way. now, anyone can be in music, but it takes a truly talented person to get it right in my opinion. alison definitely accomplishes this.

to say the least, if you havent had the chance as least give her a try. she is an amazing musician with a lot of talent. her music videos are really good too if you get the chance.

admiring,

annie em.

a random post. among many others...

today is easter, He is risen. im starting not to be a fan of family holidays anymore, but today was ok for one i guess. me and my sister (and also best friend) hung out the whole time at Oma's house and watched ferris bueller's day off (BIG fan of the 80's by the way) and sleeping beauty. what a combination.
anyways, to say the least, it was an ok time. it was just my family and then the aunt and uncle. maybe i would be more inclined to family gatherings if they were bigger and had more people my age..but oh well. my sister is all the company i need!
so aside from watching movies, we snuck onto a golf course and had a mini photo shoot. man i love photography. if only i had endless amounts of money to spend on things i love; i would have bought myself a nice expensive camera a loooong time ago.
here are some of our brilliant pics (i picked my faves)

my beautiful sister.

the dynamic duo

it wasnt a huge photo shoot, kind of impromptu and whatnot, but oh well. it will be fun this summer because i plan on doing a lot of experimentation with photography and such. the summer is always a good time to find something you are interested in and explore it. because what else are you going to do with massive amounts of time?

so that concludes random part #1...now to begin other random things

this is my blog description thing, but i am changing it so i wanted to post it here so i would always remember it...

"i'm letting go, giving it up. its all Yours now. do what you will, have your way and i'll follow. whatever the outcome, i'll live for You alone."

that has been on my blog for awhile now, but what does it mean exactly? well it serves as a reminder to myself of what i am living for. i wrote it because of certain situations that i was dealing with in my life at the time and because of my failed attempts at trying to deal with things. too many times, we try to help ourselves without remembering that we dont have to go it alone. we have Him to help and guide us.

So the spark behind the phrase is to be reminding myself when i freak out over things i cant control or things i dont know that i need to place my trust and let things go. interestingly enough, the pastor at church this morning was saying something along the lines of 'when you put God first and make Him your priority, everything else will fall into place'...

but of course, as with many things, it is much easier said than done. i have decided its time to make a concious effort again to stop trying to control the world. we just have to accept that things cant always go our way and sometimes we dont know why things happen or what the outcome will be but we just have to tell ourselves, "whatever the outcome, I'll live for you alone."

peace is living,

annie em.