musings of a raven-haired girl.

it seems insomnia has taken its toll once again.

do you ever have those nights where your brain wont shut off no matter how hard you try? its like your brain decides to go over every decision, path or mistake that you have taken/made. all the would haves and could haves surface and come to haunt you.

why is it that the past can never simply stay in the past? it seems to find little ways to creep into the everyday present life and remind you of a former self. although that self may not be who you are anymore it still hurts to think about. memories are a curse and a blessing, but sometimes i do wish you could put them in a box and seal the lid shut tightly and only take them out when you want to see them.

no matter how much i want to change things or forget memories will always be there. it reminds me of the movie, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. if you have never heard of it it is definitely worth watching. basically its about a relationship which did not last but the woman has decided to have all her memories of her ex erased. it brings up the interesting concept of what would happen if we could simply just forget or erase those memories? is it cheating or helping in the end?

i am undecided on this because part of me thinks that life was destined to happen the way it was even if you mess it up. another movie example (well i feel somewhat smart now) is the butterfly effect. he tries to go back and change the past but it doesnt work because life has a set course of events and you cant do one thing without affecting the other. again, while i am undecided i sometimes lean more towards the butterfly effect way of thinking.

well it seems we are nearing the two thirty mark sadly but i will leave you with a late night melancholy song.

"naive orleans" [acoustic version] by Anberlin (off their album 'Lost Songs')

something to consider on this dark and lonely night,

annie em.