l'automne

well

it seems that fall has forgotten that it is not supposed to be eighty degrees and sunny. seriously. i want to sun to go away and the dark depressing cold weather of the fall/winter to come.

anyways

aside from my rantings about how the weather needs to change i have decided to dedicate this blog to things that have recently inspired me the most in life...and also new things i have just discovered. ^_^

1. Courney Brims

she is an Australian artist and if you know me at all you know that above all, i love art and even more so art that is creative and slightly off-beat/unique. (also any art that has focus on slightly morbid qualities hehe). i admire her whimsical style for i havent found with very many other artists who portray that kind of subject matter. (i also love that she draws foxes and owl as they are two of my favorite animals.) needless to say she has become quite a fascination of mine...for more, go here

http://www.courtneybrims.com/

2. dark poetry

as it is coming to the darker season of the year, i find myself in a time of reflection...but then again i always seem to be in a time of reflection, so maybe it is just more exaggerated with this weather...

one of my favorite poems that i have read so far was penned by Lord Byron, and 18th/19th century romantic poet. i find myself liking these poems so much perhaps because i admire the fact that someone else might once have felt like i did and actually written something from their heart. here it is....

my soul is dark- oh! quickly string the harp I yet can brook to hear; and let thy gentle fingers fling its melting murmurs o'er mine ear. if in this heart a hope be dear, that sound shall charm it forth again: if in these eyes there lurk a tear, 'twill flow and cease to burn my brain.

but bid the strain be wild and deep nor let thy notes of joy be first: i tell thee, minstrel, i must weep or else this heavy heart will burst; for it hath been by sorrow nursed and ached in sleepless silence long; and now 'tis doomed to know the worst and break at once- or yield to song.

that is all for tonight, but the list will continue on !

happily,

annie em

ni hao

sooo....

the second week of school is well underway.

opinions...

i am not the biggest fan of my school. the people i have classes with are nice and so are my teachers, but i find the school itself is....well no university.

i could be much meaner about it, but its probably best not to be to descriptive. ^_^

anyways,

what saves me from totally quitting there are my language classes.

today alone, i had all three! it is quite the task to make my brain go from chinese to french to german all within 5 hrs of each other. but i figure that this will only make my brain better at thinking, so voila!

the only problem is that now my brain tries to think in 5 different languages. ha. fun right?

not to worry though, i actually really do like it.

it makes me realize how much i was not meant to live in the boring state of minnesota where no one ever does anything new, let alone learn a language (unless it is required). i really dont know why i never thought to do more languages before. the signs have been there all along!

in both college and high school spanish i was one of the only ones who truly loved learning and speaking the language. well i guess you know what they say...hindsight is 20/20...kinda makes sense.

anyways, at least i am on the right track now.

so as of now i have

english (i would hope) and

spanish

under my belt

and am learning

chinese

french

german

and want to eventually learn

japanese

korean

italian

hmmm so if i succeed i will be able to speak 8 languages...

sounds good to me! it will be a great aid in my ambitions to travel the world.

but for now its study study study...

and oh, study some more.

i dont mind it though because i am a dork and i think learning languages is fascinating and incredibly fun! estoy loca, no?

pues, ich must estudiar ahora (german and spanish put together hehe)

twill be an interesting night filled with french and chinese...how...odd

combinations,

annie em

new beginnings.

here i am...having completed my first day a la escuela nueva. it feels slightly odd to be not returning back to the place i have gone to school the past two years. but nonetheless i feel much freer than i ever did at bethel.

i love my language classes already and tomrorow is the first day of my art ones. it seems that life is more enjoyable knowing i can pay for school and begin to save for where i really want to spend

my time and money...

possible options are:

Judson University in chicago

Madison University (WI)

and thats about all i got right now.

AR is only a temporary fix until i find what really matters.

so anyways

i think this calls for a little random deviation from the natural topic of this blog...

ready?

subject change to...

kyuhyun.

i have recently (over the past few months) developed a fascination with asian culture and yes, one of my guily pleasures has become kpop music (korean pop)

some may call this slightly dorky, but i can tell you that it is addicting and highly entertaining...so what does kyuhyun have to do about all of this?

well glad you would ask!

he just so happens to be a very sexy member in one of the largest kpop groups, super junior....

(he is the one in the middle)

so anyways...to summarize. korean = pretty damn sexy.

there is proof.

it adds to my desire to go visit korea ^_^

just a little sparkle for your day,

annie em

musings

why hello.

and may i say what nice weather it has been. i do declare that this is what summer should be like all the time. none of this 90% humidity nonsense or whatever the heck it is...

i must say i cannot be more excited for fall.

anyways to say the least, things in life finally seem to have sorted themselves out. as this summer draws to a close i find myself looking back on many things in life, not only just in the past few years. this has been the summer of remembrance and realizing that everything in life happens for a reason. while one may not know the exact reason, i have discovered that the reason will usually present itself at some point (not always right when you need it however).

ellie just came to visit and i already cannot wait until we visit each other again. we unknowingly signed up for many of the same classes next semester so that should be interesting.

speaking of which, it is goodbye to bethel for me and hello to a school for which i dont need to pay an arm and a leg for. i am quite happy with this decision and i think it will be for the best. current school schedule...

Chinese

French

Drawing II

Painting I

folks it doesnt get much better than that (unless of course i was taking korean or german as well) there are many more languages to learn after all! the goal is ten by the way. i already know two so i am what, 1/5 of the way there.

so with school finally set in place i feel as though i can actually breathe a little easier again.

job hunting is ...well going. possible contenders include Pottery Barn and Costco. i need two jobs anyways with all the extra time on my hands.

so this blog was very boring...but i am thinking the next one will involve some very sexy men who happen to be from Korea.... ^_^

feeling optimistic,

annie em

i write to you from the mountains

yes

i am indeed in the mountains right now...well not IN them persay but fairly close.

im visiting my friend, Sam, who i know from school.

its very nice to be able to have a week away from life in MN to be able to experience a new state (COLORADO!) and clear my head for the weeks to come. ever notice how when one thing goes wrong/changes everything else either goes wrong/changes too.

its rather annoying and i find myself highly irritating that life tends to work this way, but then i suppose it wouldnt be called life.

i just turned nineteen 4 days ago and it makes me realize how little i know about the world and about myself. i had thrown myself into college a good year and a half earlier than most people so for the past 2 years i have been making choices which i should have just now been

making...major, schools, classes, ect.

sometimes the outlook on life seems very bleak and uncertain as it does now, but all i need to do is stand still and look. when i saw the mountains bike riding today i stopped riding and looked out into the landscape. i was overcome by a few great feelings....freedom, awe and hope.

i felt so free, like i couldnt have a care in the world. the large open space was where i could let my soul roam free and taste the carefree feelings that i so long for. awe at the God who created such a beautiful sight. and this awe led to feeling a little hopeful. surely a God who can inspire such freedom and awe must provide us with hope (as i know He does).

there is hope, it is sometimes just very hard to remember.

while i have many things i need to decide on right now, the mountains help me to remember what i need to do (and wow that sounds extremely cheesy, but oh so true).

tonight i talked with a friend which i had not spoken with for quite awhile. we had a very good talk because both of us are going/have gone through similar situations. he reminded me of how i am not the only one who deals with various problems and hurts. we are all suffering in a way and i am a believer that God puts people in our lives intentionally to help us deal with certain trials. for however brief or long a time they are there or if they come or go, they make the gray outlook we face seem a bit brighter and maybe even inspire hints of color. all i can say is that after a hard past few days, i am finally beginning to feel as though there may be some color in the future after all.

im sure there will be more to write the next few days as the mountains (and God) continue to work their knowing magic.

a picture of the creek on the back of the farm property. also beautiful but pics of the mountains coming soon

feeling a bit restored,

annie em

renewed?

i got the urge the other day at work to start writing blogs again. its been at least 3 months since my last one so i feel like its about time i wrote another one.

to start off with, life has taken a turn for the ...well i dunno if its best or worst. a little bit of both in a way

best / better - for once in a long time i feel somewhat free again. like i dont have to worry about certain things in my past. i feel like i can be independent and myself to some degree. i am much more confident than i was a few years ago which is a great improvement.

worst - home life. some people dont understand what it is like to come from a family where you feel so disconnected from your parents. they are supposed to be the two people in the world you can trust with anything and they should know you inside and out. i have neither of those two things which is sad. not only do my parents not know who i am, but they would kick me out of the house in a second for making one minor mistake. i know from experience within this last week. my dad basically told me that if i got so much as one little tatoo i would get kicked out of my house. now i had always thought my dad was the chill one who was actually somewhat sane in the ruder family, but he proved himself wrong. i honestly dont know how a parent could kick their kid out because of one little thing they decided to get on their body. while i dont have a tatoo yet, i have been thinking about getting one for awhile now, but i would get it somewhere that is easily hideable. to say the least, after i heard that spiel from my dad, i became very upset and left the house for about 3 hours. i am so frustrated by my parents and their hard-headedness and lack of openness to new ideas. because i am a person who is very much so based on being non-judgemental you can imagine how many problems this leads to in my everyday life.

to continue on (i guess by now you have noticed things have been more on the worse side as opposed to better) i basically decided that i want out of the house ASAP. i cannot stand it here anymore and i cannot stand my parents. the only things i would regret about leaving home would be leaving my sister and my brother. i wouldnt want to leave them in this place where i know they would just end up being worse off.

tonight me and steph looked at apartments.

i just want to be free. free from parents, free from a school i pay way too much to go to, free from the past, free from anything weighing me down, free from being weak.

there is so much right now that i just became confused about and i dont know what to do. it just proves to me that the only people i can trust in the world are myself and God. I learned these lessons the hard, and hurtful way. its not always easy to accept but i think my two new life mottos are 'talk is cheap' and 'what doesnt kill you makes you stronger'....ok well the last one has always been one of my mottos but still.

"remember to look over your shoulder, because the world is a cruel place"

- quote from Oma (wise woman, that one)

im in a bit of a depression, someone please pull me out.

annie em.

a fine frenzy.

So....

music influences in my life are HUGE
i probably listen to music at least 5 hours a day. maybe more.

silence bothers me sometimes and music fills it up and makes you feel better.

there is nothing better than finding a song or artist who can whip up some good lyrics either (as i have said before)

one artist i want to write about, because her influence upon me has been huge, is Alison Sudol of A Fine Frenzy. in my opinion she is classified as an indie singer/songwriter who has a wondrously haunting voice and unusual lyrics (at times). however, i love her music nonetheless.

Right now she has two albums out, One Cell in the Sea and Bomb in a Birdcage. i havent had a chance yet to really listen to the newest album, (BiaB) but from what i hear it is much different from OCithS.

I fell in love with her first album because of the significance it seemed to play in my life. and the music was beautiful as well. one of my all time favorite songs by her...well ok i have to pick more than one... so three....

1) Almost Lover

2) Come On, Come Out

3) Ashes & Wine

off One Cell in the Sea

Her lyrics are so powerful and they make you actually feel emotion. you can tell that she really does put her heart and soul into what she does. it makes me commend her all the more because i feel that music these days has lost its meaning in a way. now, anyone can be in music, but it takes a truly talented person to get it right in my opinion. alison definitely accomplishes this.

to say the least, if you havent had the chance as least give her a try. she is an amazing musician with a lot of talent. her music videos are really good too if you get the chance.

admiring,

annie em.

a random post. among many others...

today is easter, He is risen. im starting not to be a fan of family holidays anymore, but today was ok for one i guess. me and my sister (and also best friend) hung out the whole time at Oma's house and watched ferris bueller's day off (BIG fan of the 80's by the way) and sleeping beauty. what a combination.
anyways, to say the least, it was an ok time. it was just my family and then the aunt and uncle. maybe i would be more inclined to family gatherings if they were bigger and had more people my age..but oh well. my sister is all the company i need!
so aside from watching movies, we snuck onto a golf course and had a mini photo shoot. man i love photography. if only i had endless amounts of money to spend on things i love; i would have bought myself a nice expensive camera a loooong time ago.
here are some of our brilliant pics (i picked my faves)

my beautiful sister.

the dynamic duo

it wasnt a huge photo shoot, kind of impromptu and whatnot, but oh well. it will be fun this summer because i plan on doing a lot of experimentation with photography and such. the summer is always a good time to find something you are interested in and explore it. because what else are you going to do with massive amounts of time?

so that concludes random part #1...now to begin other random things

this is my blog description thing, but i am changing it so i wanted to post it here so i would always remember it...

"i'm letting go, giving it up. its all Yours now. do what you will, have your way and i'll follow. whatever the outcome, i'll live for You alone."

that has been on my blog for awhile now, but what does it mean exactly? well it serves as a reminder to myself of what i am living for. i wrote it because of certain situations that i was dealing with in my life at the time and because of my failed attempts at trying to deal with things. too many times, we try to help ourselves without remembering that we dont have to go it alone. we have Him to help and guide us.

So the spark behind the phrase is to be reminding myself when i freak out over things i cant control or things i dont know that i need to place my trust and let things go. interestingly enough, the pastor at church this morning was saying something along the lines of 'when you put God first and make Him your priority, everything else will fall into place'...

but of course, as with many things, it is much easier said than done. i have decided its time to make a concious effort again to stop trying to control the world. we just have to accept that things cant always go our way and sometimes we dont know why things happen or what the outcome will be but we just have to tell ourselves, "whatever the outcome, I'll live for you alone."

peace is living,

annie em.

what a blustery day...

so today there was an easter egg hunt in our neighborhood...my mom and one of her good friends decided about twelve years ago they wanted to do some kind of ministry for our neighborhood hence the Shadowbrook Easter Egg Hunt was born.
we share the easter story with whoever decides to come and of course we sugar the kids up and send them home. amid the pastel eggs that invade the yards, me, jordan, steph, aubrey and brielle hung out and had a good time being out normal goofy selves.

anyways to prove that i can make impromptu art, i made a lovely collage(?) out of nerds. yes, the candy.

my masterpiece!

yeah...well aside from the fact that i have had way too much sugar in the past few days, i would say easter break has been fairly productive.

so i guess i should find a cool point to add to this blog. hmmm lets see.

one of the most recent brilliant (but delayed) discoveries i have had is the band Fair. I say delayed because i have had their cd in my iTunes for well over a year, but i finally just listened to it over this past week. one word. AMAZING

lets explore this band.

band: Fair, the creation of acclaimed Tooth & Nail producer Aaron Sprinkle, who is the lead singer of the band. so their first album The Best Worst-Case Scenario is the one i have been listening too (2006) but i just discovered that they released a new album this year! Eeek! oh the joys... the new album is called Disappearing World. i havent had a chance to listen to it yet, but i want to as soon as possible. honestly what makes or breaks a band is seriously lyrics. yes, i am guilty of liking cheesy bands who have no lyrical diversity whatsoever, but when it comes down to it, i truly love all the bands who have amazing lyrics. ones that describe your feelings in a way you would never think of. think of how much better music would be these days if people actually tried to get away from cliche and attempt realness and beauty in writing. aaron sprinkle definitely hits the nail on the head with that one.

just to give you an idea of who aaron sprinkle is, he produces a lot of Tooth & Nail bands (including Anberlin, my favorite band of all time) while writing his own stuff on the side. amazing. to say the least, they are my newest discovery. i would compare them to This Providence by closest comparison.

a challenge for everyone out there: finally listen to that cd by the band that has been sitting in your library just waiting to be discovered. i have found some of my favorite songs/artists this way. although maybe this should serve as my lesson that an 8,000 song library might just be too big. but i cant help it. i just love music too much! so go discover something great!

be inspired,

annie em

as of late.

since art is my passion, i feel like i should share some of my recent work with you. since fall semester in drawing i am now in two more art classes, 2D design and 3D...gotta love studio classes! anyways here is some of my work from those classes...enjoy.

This is a wall piece I made for 3D design. It is five separate parts that were combined into one. The weird thing sticking out in the middle is a branch-like structure i added to create some kind of visual interest. originally the assignment was to create implied motion without the object actually moving. did i succeed?

For 2D design, its hard to see the colors (much better in person) but this painting was comprised only using two complimentary colors (yellow and purple) and black and white. It is quite a large painting in real life...at least 3' x 4'

I did this on my own aside from an art class. Its one of my collage pieces that I have been doing for the last almost two years. This one is different from past works since i hand drew the mirrors in the center.

Thats just a few of the many things i haven been hard at work on. right now i am thinking of undertaking a project for my room at home...oh! random story time.

i am now living at home (no more lissner hall) in order to save money on housing costs . it actually works out quite well and i love it, but anyways the point of that bit of news ties into the fact that i am thinking of making all new art for my walls at home. i am thinking of makind boards again (what i call my collage art) that depict my innermost feelings. a potentially daunting/revealing task. but it would serve the purpose of showing who i am, which is what i think a room (specifically YOUR room) is supposed to say.

well there ya go,

annie em.

ps...another new thing that i am starting is another blog with four of my other closest friends. we just started it last night, so there probably wont be much on there, but check us out and follow us!

http://fiveinafrenzy.blogspot.com/

its about time.

the weather has FINALLY decided to get nicer. it must have known me deepest wish...

good things about spring...

1. cute sundresses
2. (sometimes) running outside
3. beautiful weather; not too cold, not too hot...just perfect.
4. listening to spring-inspired playlists
5. being outside
6. the smell
7. feeling a lightness of heart
8. goodbye dreary winter

there are many more of which i cannot exactly think of at the moment, but all i know is that the weather seems to have had quite a drastic impact on my mood. there is something about knowing you are not confined to the indoors anymore that can free a person. its amazing! even though life is still by no means any slower or any easier, it is good to know that there is one thing that is going right at least.

ps....i have decided that i am going to start posting more blogs and actually sticking to my original ideas of posting cool/interesting topics.

stay tuned,
annie em.

spring boring-ness.

today is spring break.
joy...
i have one day off the whole break and its tomorrow...
other than that i work every single day from 4pm to whenever.
at least its money but it pales significantly in comparison to last years spring break. sigh...

stuck at home,
annie em.

warwick avenue.

song by duffy.

describes my life.

realization.

have you ever gotten to that point when you realize that life just sucks?
it seems to have come to that point.

f,
annie em.

when it all falls apart.

why is it that we take the little things for granted. everyday normal things, like even having a job.

its amazing how much we brush off these things to mean nothing when they really mean the world to us. then when they are taken away it makes us realize how stupid we were to think that nothing would ever go wrong.

just a musing as i sit in the library at school wondering what will happen now

devastated,
annie em.

big bang theory.

i have discovered a great tv show entitled the big bang theory.

as ellie describes it, it is a mix between the office and gilmore girls.
its basically a show about a bunch of upper twenty something nerds who are just living life. its super funny and one of my favorite characters is Sheldon. he always has the funniest rebuttals and ideas about everything. and raj is even a little cute (and he's from england).

its not letting me copy and past his quotes right now but i am going to come update it later sometime.

anyways i dont really know what the point is to writing this, but im going to bed.

highly amused,
annie em.

dancing is my remedy.

now that i have rediscovered my blog, ill prolly go crazy updating it once a day for a week and then wait a month again haha.
anyways

todays agenda:
gym
apartment hunting
movie
shopping
lunch
shopping
dinner
shopping
meet cute boys (?)
party...maybe

sounds like a good day to me.
definitely the weekend away that i needed. its nice to be able to finally feel a little freer. as for the thing im most excited about for today, its probably appartment hunting. one thing i have never done so it will be very interesting. my designer brain will most likely try to recreate every apartment we see in the future style it could be. haha. dorkish i know. well to say the least it will be a very fantastic day. i cant wait!

excitement,
annie em.

hangin with the mama metro.

current location: mosinee, WI
current activity: a multitude of things...uploading random music, facebooking, blogging, chillin with Mama Metro in the Metropulos kitchen, and oh playing Farmville.

i haven't written a blog in a long while. oops. anyways.
today, for the first time in a long time i have felt that little tinge of happiness and the feeling that everything will be ok. maybe for some reason the combination of my current activities are helping to cheer me up but anyways,

it has been so long since i have felt that it almost feels strange. this unfamiliar feeling that has for so long eluded me.

while the past year of life has served as a number of adjectives, the list too long to write here probably, i have come to decide one thing (however obvious this may be...)

life is full of lessons. some we learn the hard way and some come easily to us (duh). i have also come to learn that people come and go in your life. although it seems very odd to me that some people are only in your life for a short time, they can teach you more about yourself than you ever imagined.

we can grow so much as people that sometimes looking back we dont even notice how different we have truly become. it is not that i find myself at this crossroads. the person i was even six months ago is radically different than i ever could have dreamed. while sometimes i wonder if its a 'for the better' change, it appears to me that any point in your life that makes you change or realize more about yourself has to be 'for the better' in someway, right?

i dunno how i got off onto such a weird tangent, but i find myself on one of those nights where you finally just let out that huge breath you have been holding in for so long. i cant wait til ellie gets home from work and we get to catch up on our lives. even though we are apart sometimes it feels like no time has passed. you gotta love it when you have friends like that.
anyways
i am not watching the movie temple grandon with mama Metro. it is a good night

exhaling,
annie em.

new year.

my first post of 2010.
seems almost impossible to believe.

i am back at school for jterm and kind of wish i could leave.
this year is going to be one of change, revival, searching and discovery.
im excited and also anxious to discover what is in store for me.

pondering,
annie em