snow.

its been snowing the past few days. i love it.
it makes my mood lift considerably and i dont feel so dreary.

yesterday i was inspired.
to start new and try to do something with my life.
well ok, more so try to figure it out.

sometimes it is amazing the power talking to other people holds. you can get second opinions, encouragement and the simple knowledge of knowing people care about you.

nonetheless, it will be a hard journey, but i am willing to take on the challenge.

living inspired,
annie em.

introvert.

today is christmas eve.
but it doesnt really seem to feel very Christmas-y. every year since my grandpa died we have had xmas eve at Oma's (german for grandma) house. but the snow, even though it put me in a good mood, changed our plans. so its at our house for the first time in years. its weird.
anyways
i am hiding in my room because i seem to find that that works better than socializing right now. i wouldnt call myself an introvert, because i really do like being around ppl, but lately i have just wanted to be more by myself. and perhaps this adds more to the fact that it doesnt seem like christmas. where has all the joy gone?

this is it,
annie em

You.

Although one may often wish
to forget their past mistakes…
to leave behind their hardships
no matter what’s at stake -
To ignore the lessons
that they’ve learned over the years…
just to disregard their heartaches,
pains, trials, and tears –
I’ve come to know
that I cannot
regret the life that I have led…
i cannot be apologetic
for the things I’ve done or said –
I cannot live a life of anger,
for the sufferings I’ve faced…
or think the tears that I have shed
should ever be replaced –
The moments of which I faltered
or made the wrong choice…
the times I needed to stand up,
but seemed to lose my voice –
Along with the days that I stood strong
and lived up to my potential…
all joined together to form a road
that each soul finds essential –
For each step that I took along
the life that I’ve been through…
became just one step closer
to finding You.

no subject.

Should've kissed you there, I should've held your face, I should've watched those eyes instead of run in place.
I should've called you out, I should've said your name, I should've turned around, I should've looked again.
But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made.
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away
Should've held my ground, I could've been redeemed for every second chance that changed its mind on me.
I should've spoken up, I should've proudly claimed, that oh my head's to blame, for all my heart's mistakes.
But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made.
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away.
And it's you...
and it's you...
and it's falling down
As you walk away
And it's on me now
As you go...
But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made.
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away.
And it's falling down as you walk away and it's on me now as you go...
But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made, I'm staring at the mess I made.
As you turn, you take your heart and

walk away.

the whole wide world is mine.

i'm in the BC, which has become like my second home in a way. i have been here since approximately 11 this morning trying to do my hw, but kind of failing. at least i got caffeine to help and after this i SWEAR ill go do my hw (which is a 10 page research paper). i dunno what i will do the rest of the day. probably go to bed at like midnight cuz i'm trying to be like a normal person and actually get some sleep for once.

random things

- my id has broken and will not let me into lissner, but it works for everything else like market and checking out stuff from the library...im mystified

- i feel so much better about life

- i am in love with angels & airwaves. and jeremy messersmith. and kaisercartel.

- pride and prejudice is about the best movie known to man

- i found out i have a job over christmas break..yay money....
- i need to figure out a place to go over spring break (im NOT staying here)
- turtle mochas save my life.

- im doing this thing called desert-less december. man did i pick the wrong month to do it...

anyways,
only 13 more days until freedom (also known as christmas break). i cannot wait. i plan on doing a bunch of art to make up for a whole semester that was artless. tear tear.

"the view from where i sit is rather gray..."

well, i think that is enough procrastinating for now..i should prolly go get to work..for real this time. seriously.

life is an adventure so go and live it,

annie em

a new light.

So

This week i asked God to reveal Himself to me and help me get through some tough issues in my life and I have to say that i feel utterly blessed by Him.

It is encouraging to me to know that He is there for you no matter what.


amazed,
annie em

stress level: moderate to high

although less stressed than the beginning of this week, my stress level is probably still unhealthily (spelling?) high...
but such is life i suppose.

to say the least i am accopmplishing some hw and feeling better about a presentation that i have to give on Friday. things are improving little by little.

i like not being in Lissner for hours on end, instead i stay in the academic buildings until they kick us out. i rather like it a lot. its so much better and my focus goes up ten million percent. its better that way when i only go back there to sleep...
besides then i actually see people i dont usually see floating around the buildings

another good thing about tonight; no work. hallelujah.
bad thing: not enough sleep....

countdown until hell is over... apx 15 days i think.

slightly frantic,
annie em

new beginning...

DECEMBER 1st...

what the heck?
where has the time gone?!
its seems like just yesterday that i was bored everyday at home during the summer...i just dont understand it.
i guess what they say is true. as you get older time only seems to pass faster and faster. yikes! this scares me a bit.

well i should probably be in bed but the fact of the matter is that i am so used to staying up late that i have kind of screwed myself over when it comes to going to bed at a decent hour. i decided that i could be totally fine with being nocturnal. but as the world has it, that is not very plausable. oh well.

i guess i will probably go to bed now. and get a whole four hours of sleep...yay...
at least i got 9 last night to make up for it.

over and out,
annie em.