pretend you're alive

Oh summer life, oh summer life, crawling with these worms, you're afraid of all their germs. oh bask in

life, oh bask in life, the weather gonna swallow you into the great divide, oh enjoy life, oh enjoy life,

climbing up those trees and breaking all your knees.

Watch angels in the morning become a devil's afternoon. I will panic in the evening underneath the

crashing moon. So fall in love while you can still hold your head up high, and pretend that you're alive

again. It's friends that leave you here in the end, so hold you head up high, and pretend that you're

alive again.

Now autumn brings the beautiful things, where all you give comes back to you like the crown upon my

king. Your life's a song, so sing along before the silence swallows you and leaves you like a pawn, watch

angels in the morning become a devil's afternoon, I will panic in the evening underneath the crashing

moon. So fall in love while you can still hold your head up high, and pretend that you're alive again.

It's friends that leave you here in the end, so hold your head up high and pretend that you're alive.

Your friends, now ghosts, are screaming "Bury us," they said, while panicking, my mind was broken.

more of my obsession

in a few weeks i am seeing these guys live...

i dont really know their stuff but i am excited nonetheless!

a bit about them...

the radio dept. is from sweden (a lot of good music seems to come from here) and

remains one of the biggest indie bands in the country

but no one has heard of them here go figure (most people in america seem to

have boring/bad music taste...not that i dont have my few guilty pleasure bands

but still, just saying...)

anyways the show is at 7th street entry (part of 1st ave.) and its acutally like 3 weeks i realized...

so im jumping the gun a bit but i couldnt wait! i love going to shows.

the last one i went to was last fall.

that one was the temper trap, delphic and hundred in the hands. actually ranks on top 5 shows i have been to believe it or not.

well it is creeping towards my bedtime as i do happen to have work tomorrow. blah.

adios,

annie em.

new songs...

'give me danger' or 'the rejection' by dangerous muse

'never follow suit' or 'heaven's on fire' by the radio dept.

'confusion girl' or '3 little words' by frankmusik

'night of the dancing flame' by róisín murphy

i shall expand later

^_^,

annie em

i'm going back home to the west coast.

recently as i have been thinking about life it has been decided with the help of my best friend ellie that we will be moving to the west coast one day after we graduate. i never have felt like i fit in here, so maybe there is hope for moving to another place. i have been out west several times and have loved it each trip.

this spring break we (ellie, her mum and i) are going to take a week long trip out to LA and then drive up the coast and end in seattle. i am excited not only to get away from here but also

to see a place where i could potentially end up in the future.

well i must run off to work, but here is one of my favorite songs, not surprisingly about the west coast!

enamored,

annie em

alice in wonderland.

it seems my creative side has done it again. the other day i had some friends over for a dinner party and it seemed we found ourselves in need of a centerpiece...so what better thing to do than design my own! it really was quite funny because it started out as just a centerpiece with a woodsy kind of theme but it turned into an Alice in Wonderland themed masterpiece!

designing this was actually quite fun. the pictures are hard to gain

the full effect but it was magical nonetheless!

[click pictures for larger view]

if i had to pick one word to describe myself or my style i think it could be classified a whimsical with a hint of darkness. exactly why i like alice in wonderland and other such things. so if you need any ideas sometime soon for a themed dinner, alice in wonderland is a great bet. just remember to find tons of mismatched teacups, some glitter and a hint of crazy

^_^,

annie em

ps...other whimsical things :

movie - penelope (personal favorite)

music video - 'walking on air' by kerli or 'tea party' defines the alice in wonderland part

it seems insomnia has taken its toll once again.

do you ever have those nights where your brain wont shut off no matter how hard you try? its like your brain decides to go over every decision, path or mistake that you have taken/made. all the would haves and could haves surface and come to haunt you.

why is it that the past can never simply stay in the past? it seems to find little ways to creep into the everyday present life and remind you of a former self. although that self may not be who you are anymore it still hurts to think about. memories are a curse and a blessing, but sometimes i do wish you could put them in a box and seal the lid shut tightly and only take them out when you want to see them.

no matter how much i want to change things or forget memories will always be there. it reminds me of the movie, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. if you have never heard of it it is definitely worth watching. basically its about a relationship which did not last but the woman has decided to have all her memories of her ex erased. it brings up the interesting concept of what would happen if we could simply just forget or erase those memories? is it cheating or helping in the end?

i am undecided on this because part of me thinks that life was destined to happen the way it was even if you mess it up. another movie example (well i feel somewhat smart now) is the butterfly effect. he tries to go back and change the past but it doesnt work because life has a set course of events and you cant do one thing without affecting the other. again, while i am undecided i sometimes lean more towards the butterfly effect way of thinking.

well it seems we are nearing the two thirty mark sadly but i will leave you with a late night melancholy song.

"naive orleans" [acoustic version] by Anberlin (off their album 'Lost Songs')

something to consider on this dark and lonely night,

annie em.

ni hao,

sorry i have missed a few days! tis back to work for me today so im writing this before i have to leave...

sooo

youtube video is still not up because camera was dead x_x

disheartening eh? i got all excited only to be let down. but never fear that is why they created chargers!

song of the day (even tho its old):

"not good enough for truth in cliche"

by escape the fate

from the album 'dying is your latest fashion'

i might not seem the type to like screamo, or as it is more formally called, post hard-core music, but i like some of it quite a lot. but then again my range of music is very broad to start with so there we go!

maybe i should dedicate this to posthardcore music (lightbulb moment!)

SO new discoveries

Asking Alexandria - from britain, they are fairly new...key track : "final episode (lets change the channel"

We Came As Romans - i am missing there show this sat :/ key track : "to plant a seed" or "broken statues"

old favorites

Watchout! There's Ghosts - this band comprised of jordan blake, the screamer from a skylit drive.. key track : "i'll take famous murders for 500" or "never you" they are no longer in existence though which is very sad.

A Skylit Drive - my all time favorite i think. wires and the concept of breathing is the best album by far.

Escape the Fate - obviously, however not the new stuff, only old. i dislike craig mabbit as the leader

I Am Ghost - discovered by my best friend jordan. good stuff. key track : "our friend lazarus sleeps"

there are many more but just a few should suffice for people looking for some good stuff to listen to. hopefully camera will work soon so i can jumpstart my youtube career. also here's an idea..if there are any music genres you want me to write about explore tell me!

work calls,

annie em

so today i got a wonderful tiny package in the mail containing the newest member to my family!

explanation....

i collect stuffed animals (yes i really do) and i call them my children hence also making them my family. now we are up to five kids and the newest could be by far the cuteest. he is a lil owl! and i am very proud. no names yet tho...any ideas? alright well now that it is official i am a huge dork i can get to it;

first things first-playlist for the day...

1. "idle and waiting" - umbrellas

2. "breakdown" - mae

3. "stolen" - dashboard confessional

4. "the attic" - fair

5. "black leaf falls" - sea wolf

6. "the haunting" - anberlin

so i have been thinking i want to become a youtuber. so tomorrow i am going to make my first video for my channel (i only have 1 other video right now) to jump start my new career as a 19 year old who isnt going to school for awhile. oh thats right im taking next semester off for anyone who didnt know already. .yep.

i'll post the link on here tomorrow for my channel so you can follow if you should so desire.

so for now i leave you with this videooo!

i agree,

annie em.

song of theee day: "come back when you can" by barcelona. heaven to your ears (even if it is a bit cliche with the lyrics...)

i am reminded of why i love music so much. because when all else fails at the end of the day a song can help to ease whatever it is that has caused you trouble in the first place. sometimes the fact someone else is singing the exact words you feel is comforting. they put into words what you might not be able to.

well thats all i got tonight; my brain is going dead at this hour i fear

night world,

annie em

extension.

that has nothing to do with anything except that i find it funny.

anyways so lets see...today was thrilling, i worked at pottery barn and am currently being lazy at home (one of the best things to do anyways).

tomorrow i work (but at costco this time) and buying hair extensions i think. oh and going to the bank, it was important you knew that.

well dont i live a thrilling life? anyways lets see.......

SO

there is this pretty sweet website that i discovered (don't know how) that has inspirations for rooms! well you can guess if i work at pottery barn that this would be like a drug to me since i am obsessed with design.

http://www.houzz.com/

that is the link. it shows rooms of all kinds and you can make your own lookbooks. i just redid my room, yet again so it was fun to take inspiration not only from my work but that website as well.

so random thing number two is done, so now we need a third. welllll another link (there seems to be a trend today) that you could follow is as follows.....

http://lookbook.nu/

its also another one of my favorite sights for inspiration.

ahhhh well it seems that inspiration is the key tonight although i dunno what the video inspires you to do...paint your face boys and girls.

inspired,

annie em.

la musica.

wellllll i just couldnt keep myself away from blogging another blog because i have so neglected it for such a long time (for which i am very sorry, dear blog). a n y w a y s

MUSIC

consumes my life and makes me happy SO

we are going to do a little list of a collection of my favorite songs from 2010.

hereeee we go.

(these are, by the way, in no particular order because if i tried to do that...well...it would be too hard)

'fader' - the temper trap

'happier' - a fine frenzy

'no excuses' - air france

'you're a wolf' - sea wolf

'cosmic love' - florence + the machine

'coffeelocks' - gavin castelton

'numbers dont lie' - mynabirds

'chinatown' - wild nothing

'sweet disposition' - the temper trap

'first class riot' - the tough alliance

'skeleton boy' - friendly fires

'koe o kikasate' - bigbang

'bambi' - tokyo police club

'black dirt' - sea wolf

'the city lights' - umbrellas

'too many questions' - sam sparro

'golden years' - the russian futurists

'dance the way i feel' - ou est le swimming pool

'the ghost inside' - broken bells

'gutter' - paper route

'feel it in my bones' - tiesto feat. tegan and sara

'my time' - minus the bear

'super girl' - super junior

'everyday' - vetiver

'all alright' - sigur ros

'prince henry' - sohodolls

'final episode (lets change the channel)' - asking alexandria

'to plant a seed' - we came as romans

'west coast' - coconut records

'when i'm alone' - lissie

'walk like a gentleman' - eye alaska

'this love (will be your downfall) - ellie goulding

who am i kidding....i cant possibly make a list summarizing them all. it would be far too long to be a summary then. but i do feel confident i can narrow down a few good albums.

1. the temper trap - 'conditions

2. sea wolf - 'leaves in the river'

3. florence + the machine - 'lungs'

so while the top song list epically failed, the albums didn't! so there we have it.

music,

annie em

2011...

well here we are. it seems a new year is underway [finally]....

here is a smattering of random thoughts from 2010 before we pack it away for good.

while two thousand ten was definitely not the year i'd expected, it shall go down in history as one that forever changed who i am. it was a year where i grew up and learned a lot not only about myself but about others as well.

there are people who walk in and out of our lives. sometimes they stay for a long time/permanently and sometimes the time is rather short. i have come to realize that while it is hard to accept comings and goings they really can be for the better.

some relationships fall apart and we may not always be fortunate enough to know why or how, but everything has a purpose and everything has a reason. even though the reason is not always clear at the time, it usually has a way of revealing itself in the end. if you had asked me a year ago how i was feeling about my life i would have told you that i was renewed and ready to make better decisions. however, it was a naive thing to say at the time as it was more a hope than an actual truism.

i was hoping that i was ready to be renewed when in reality i still had 'skeletons in the closet' i needed to deal with before renewal could be reached. all this to say, a year later i feel as though i can finally say with confidence that i am renewed and ready to take on life. sometimes it takes awhile to 'wake up and smell the coffee' as some would say, but its better to realize sometime rather than never.

someone once told me i am like an owl...wise, but sometimes a bit slow in reaching the final decision/discovery. this rings true to some extent for often i know the right answer or what i should do but i always think i can fix things on my own or i ignore the problem altogether (terrible coping strategy by the way). my owl-like tendencies if you will are a gift in disguise i think and i plan on embracing this in the future.

all this to conclude, it seems i am at a crossroads. sometimes it feels as though parts of my past are surreal; almost like a dream, between reality and wishing. im not sure if its because i have focused so much on the here and now that the past has dimmed or if because i have changed so much the past no longer carries such relevance anymore. the person i am now and the person i was seem to clash and therefore force out those memories almost as if they didnt happen...how's that for twisted psychology?

anyways back to this supposed crossroads...the past is behind the future ahead. feeling slightly more optimistic than i usually do (which is inspiring, no?), it has been determined that 2011 will surpass 2010 in greatness. i feel this is a cliche phrase everyone says in the new year but i dont plan on letting that fade.

we constantly change as we go through life. events wear on us and shape us (sometimes forceably) into being the people we were destined to be. its hard as hell sometimes, but contributes to making us stronger in the end.

goodbye 2010, although you had your highlights, 2011 will beat you.

renewed,

annie em