late night musings.

This is my fifth blog post today. What can I say? I am addicted already.

Anyways, the topic of this blog concerns life in general and how things never turn out quite how you expect them, but sometimes it's for the better.

There are many things in my life that I am dealing with right now and sometimes it seems like if there was one more thing that was added to the pile my brain would explode. However, just because these things come up doesn't mean that I wouldn't be able to handle them. One of the things that I have been coming to terms with lately is that God would never give us something to deal with that we could never handle.
Sometimes its hard to imagine why in the world we would be faced with these things to deal with, but I like to think that everything that happens happens for a reason and makes you stronger in the end. It sounds highly cliche, but I am coming to realize that it has never been more true for me (now more than ever).
When we are put through trials, we often find that it changes us in at least a minimal way. I have found the past year for me to have been a time of rapid change for myself. If someone would have told me last year that this is what my life would be like now, I probably would have laughed in their face. I am a completely different person than what I was even a year ago, which could be considered both a good and bad thing in many ways.
In a way it makes me wonder what I will be like in 5 years. If I changed this much over the course of 1 year what would 5 do to me? A scary thought? But I am very much looking forward to seeing what I will be like 5 years from now or even ten. Where will I be and what will I be facing at that time?
Life is such a funny thing. You think you have it all figured out one second, but then it throws you a curveball and everything you once knew and even believed to be true about yourself shatters and you are left feeling a bit thunderstruck. It almost seems like you can never truly have things figured out down to the wire. And maybe we were never meant to know for sure. It definitely is something that I have been pondering lately with everything I am going through.

Sometimes I wish I could just restart my life and undo things that I have done in the past, but who doesn't wish that at least once in their life? It all goes back again to the single thought that has been occupying my mind lately; that God would never give us anything that wouldn't be possible for us to handle.
We all have choices in our life that we can make and whether we want them to help or hurt is up to us. Even though there will always be things we regret in the past, we can take that hurt and regret and use it to look forward to making a new future for ourself that can better define us. There will always be a second chance, it is taking the time to look for it and forgive yourself. The past is the past, so we have to stop living in it and look towards the future.

Contemplating,
annie em