la musica.

wellllll i just couldnt keep myself away from blogging another blog because i have so neglected it for such a long time (for which i am very sorry, dear blog). a n y w a y s

MUSIC

consumes my life and makes me happy SO

we are going to do a little list of a collection of my favorite songs from 2010.

hereeee we go.

(these are, by the way, in no particular order because if i tried to do that...well...it would be too hard)

'fader' - the temper trap

'happier' - a fine frenzy

'no excuses' - air france

'you're a wolf' - sea wolf

'cosmic love' - florence + the machine

'coffeelocks' - gavin castelton

'numbers dont lie' - mynabirds

'chinatown' - wild nothing

'sweet disposition' - the temper trap

'first class riot' - the tough alliance

'skeleton boy' - friendly fires

'koe o kikasate' - bigbang

'bambi' - tokyo police club

'black dirt' - sea wolf

'the city lights' - umbrellas

'too many questions' - sam sparro

'golden years' - the russian futurists

'dance the way i feel' - ou est le swimming pool

'the ghost inside' - broken bells

'gutter' - paper route

'feel it in my bones' - tiesto feat. tegan and sara

'my time' - minus the bear

'super girl' - super junior

'everyday' - vetiver

'all alright' - sigur ros

'prince henry' - sohodolls

'final episode (lets change the channel)' - asking alexandria

'to plant a seed' - we came as romans

'west coast' - coconut records

'when i'm alone' - lissie

'walk like a gentleman' - eye alaska

'this love (will be your downfall) - ellie goulding

who am i kidding....i cant possibly make a list summarizing them all. it would be far too long to be a summary then. but i do feel confident i can narrow down a few good albums.

1. the temper trap - 'conditions

2. sea wolf - 'leaves in the river'

3. florence + the machine - 'lungs'

so while the top song list epically failed, the albums didn't! so there we have it.

music,

annie em

2011...

well here we are. it seems a new year is underway [finally]....

here is a smattering of random thoughts from 2010 before we pack it away for good.

while two thousand ten was definitely not the year i'd expected, it shall go down in history as one that forever changed who i am. it was a year where i grew up and learned a lot not only about myself but about others as well.

there are people who walk in and out of our lives. sometimes they stay for a long time/permanently and sometimes the time is rather short. i have come to realize that while it is hard to accept comings and goings they really can be for the better.

some relationships fall apart and we may not always be fortunate enough to know why or how, but everything has a purpose and everything has a reason. even though the reason is not always clear at the time, it usually has a way of revealing itself in the end. if you had asked me a year ago how i was feeling about my life i would have told you that i was renewed and ready to make better decisions. however, it was a naive thing to say at the time as it was more a hope than an actual truism.

i was hoping that i was ready to be renewed when in reality i still had 'skeletons in the closet' i needed to deal with before renewal could be reached. all this to say, a year later i feel as though i can finally say with confidence that i am renewed and ready to take on life. sometimes it takes awhile to 'wake up and smell the coffee' as some would say, but its better to realize sometime rather than never.

someone once told me i am like an owl...wise, but sometimes a bit slow in reaching the final decision/discovery. this rings true to some extent for often i know the right answer or what i should do but i always think i can fix things on my own or i ignore the problem altogether (terrible coping strategy by the way). my owl-like tendencies if you will are a gift in disguise i think and i plan on embracing this in the future.

all this to conclude, it seems i am at a crossroads. sometimes it feels as though parts of my past are surreal; almost like a dream, between reality and wishing. im not sure if its because i have focused so much on the here and now that the past has dimmed or if because i have changed so much the past no longer carries such relevance anymore. the person i am now and the person i was seem to clash and therefore force out those memories almost as if they didnt happen...how's that for twisted psychology?

anyways back to this supposed crossroads...the past is behind the future ahead. feeling slightly more optimistic than i usually do (which is inspiring, no?), it has been determined that 2011 will surpass 2010 in greatness. i feel this is a cliche phrase everyone says in the new year but i dont plan on letting that fade.

we constantly change as we go through life. events wear on us and shape us (sometimes forceably) into being the people we were destined to be. its hard as hell sometimes, but contributes to making us stronger in the end.

goodbye 2010, although you had your highlights, 2011 will beat you.

renewed,

annie em

l'automne

well

it seems that fall has forgotten that it is not supposed to be eighty degrees and sunny. seriously. i want to sun to go away and the dark depressing cold weather of the fall/winter to come.

anyways

aside from my rantings about how the weather needs to change i have decided to dedicate this blog to things that have recently inspired me the most in life...and also new things i have just discovered. ^_^

1. Courney Brims

she is an Australian artist and if you know me at all you know that above all, i love art and even more so art that is creative and slightly off-beat/unique. (also any art that has focus on slightly morbid qualities hehe). i admire her whimsical style for i havent found with very many other artists who portray that kind of subject matter. (i also love that she draws foxes and owl as they are two of my favorite animals.) needless to say she has become quite a fascination of mine...for more, go here

http://www.courtneybrims.com/

2. dark poetry

as it is coming to the darker season of the year, i find myself in a time of reflection...but then again i always seem to be in a time of reflection, so maybe it is just more exaggerated with this weather...

one of my favorite poems that i have read so far was penned by Lord Byron, and 18th/19th century romantic poet. i find myself liking these poems so much perhaps because i admire the fact that someone else might once have felt like i did and actually written something from their heart. here it is....

my soul is dark- oh! quickly string the harp I yet can brook to hear; and let thy gentle fingers fling its melting murmurs o'er mine ear. if in this heart a hope be dear, that sound shall charm it forth again: if in these eyes there lurk a tear, 'twill flow and cease to burn my brain.

but bid the strain be wild and deep nor let thy notes of joy be first: i tell thee, minstrel, i must weep or else this heavy heart will burst; for it hath been by sorrow nursed and ached in sleepless silence long; and now 'tis doomed to know the worst and break at once- or yield to song.

that is all for tonight, but the list will continue on !

happily,

annie em

ni hao

sooo....

the second week of school is well underway.

opinions...

i am not the biggest fan of my school. the people i have classes with are nice and so are my teachers, but i find the school itself is....well no university.

i could be much meaner about it, but its probably best not to be to descriptive. ^_^

anyways,

what saves me from totally quitting there are my language classes.

today alone, i had all three! it is quite the task to make my brain go from chinese to french to german all within 5 hrs of each other. but i figure that this will only make my brain better at thinking, so voila!

the only problem is that now my brain tries to think in 5 different languages. ha. fun right?

not to worry though, i actually really do like it.

it makes me realize how much i was not meant to live in the boring state of minnesota where no one ever does anything new, let alone learn a language (unless it is required). i really dont know why i never thought to do more languages before. the signs have been there all along!

in both college and high school spanish i was one of the only ones who truly loved learning and speaking the language. well i guess you know what they say...hindsight is 20/20...kinda makes sense.

anyways, at least i am on the right track now.

so as of now i have

english (i would hope) and

spanish

under my belt

and am learning

chinese

french

german

and want to eventually learn

japanese

korean

italian

hmmm so if i succeed i will be able to speak 8 languages...

sounds good to me! it will be a great aid in my ambitions to travel the world.

but for now its study study study...

and oh, study some more.

i dont mind it though because i am a dork and i think learning languages is fascinating and incredibly fun! estoy loca, no?

pues, ich must estudiar ahora (german and spanish put together hehe)

twill be an interesting night filled with french and chinese...how...odd

combinations,

annie em

new beginnings.

here i am...having completed my first day a la escuela nueva. it feels slightly odd to be not returning back to the place i have gone to school the past two years. but nonetheless i feel much freer than i ever did at bethel.

i love my language classes already and tomrorow is the first day of my art ones. it seems that life is more enjoyable knowing i can pay for school and begin to save for where i really want to spend

my time and money...

possible options are:

Judson University in chicago

Madison University (WI)

and thats about all i got right now.

AR is only a temporary fix until i find what really matters.

so anyways

i think this calls for a little random deviation from the natural topic of this blog...

ready?

subject change to...

kyuhyun.

i have recently (over the past few months) developed a fascination with asian culture and yes, one of my guily pleasures has become kpop music (korean pop)

some may call this slightly dorky, but i can tell you that it is addicting and highly entertaining...so what does kyuhyun have to do about all of this?

well glad you would ask!

he just so happens to be a very sexy member in one of the largest kpop groups, super junior....

(he is the one in the middle)

so anyways...to summarize. korean = pretty damn sexy.

there is proof.

it adds to my desire to go visit korea ^_^

just a little sparkle for your day,

annie em

musings

why hello.

and may i say what nice weather it has been. i do declare that this is what summer should be like all the time. none of this 90% humidity nonsense or whatever the heck it is...

i must say i cannot be more excited for fall.

anyways to say the least, things in life finally seem to have sorted themselves out. as this summer draws to a close i find myself looking back on many things in life, not only just in the past few years. this has been the summer of remembrance and realizing that everything in life happens for a reason. while one may not know the exact reason, i have discovered that the reason will usually present itself at some point (not always right when you need it however).

ellie just came to visit and i already cannot wait until we visit each other again. we unknowingly signed up for many of the same classes next semester so that should be interesting.

speaking of which, it is goodbye to bethel for me and hello to a school for which i dont need to pay an arm and a leg for. i am quite happy with this decision and i think it will be for the best. current school schedule...

Chinese

French

Drawing II

Painting I

folks it doesnt get much better than that (unless of course i was taking korean or german as well) there are many more languages to learn after all! the goal is ten by the way. i already know two so i am what, 1/5 of the way there.

so with school finally set in place i feel as though i can actually breathe a little easier again.

job hunting is ...well going. possible contenders include Pottery Barn and Costco. i need two jobs anyways with all the extra time on my hands.

so this blog was very boring...but i am thinking the next one will involve some very sexy men who happen to be from Korea.... ^_^

feeling optimistic,

annie em

i write to you from the mountains

yes

i am indeed in the mountains right now...well not IN them persay but fairly close.

im visiting my friend, Sam, who i know from school.

its very nice to be able to have a week away from life in MN to be able to experience a new state (COLORADO!) and clear my head for the weeks to come. ever notice how when one thing goes wrong/changes everything else either goes wrong/changes too.

its rather annoying and i find myself highly irritating that life tends to work this way, but then i suppose it wouldnt be called life.

i just turned nineteen 4 days ago and it makes me realize how little i know about the world and about myself. i had thrown myself into college a good year and a half earlier than most people so for the past 2 years i have been making choices which i should have just now been

making...major, schools, classes, ect.

sometimes the outlook on life seems very bleak and uncertain as it does now, but all i need to do is stand still and look. when i saw the mountains bike riding today i stopped riding and looked out into the landscape. i was overcome by a few great feelings....freedom, awe and hope.

i felt so free, like i couldnt have a care in the world. the large open space was where i could let my soul roam free and taste the carefree feelings that i so long for. awe at the God who created such a beautiful sight. and this awe led to feeling a little hopeful. surely a God who can inspire such freedom and awe must provide us with hope (as i know He does).

there is hope, it is sometimes just very hard to remember.

while i have many things i need to decide on right now, the mountains help me to remember what i need to do (and wow that sounds extremely cheesy, but oh so true).

tonight i talked with a friend which i had not spoken with for quite awhile. we had a very good talk because both of us are going/have gone through similar situations. he reminded me of how i am not the only one who deals with various problems and hurts. we are all suffering in a way and i am a believer that God puts people in our lives intentionally to help us deal with certain trials. for however brief or long a time they are there or if they come or go, they make the gray outlook we face seem a bit brighter and maybe even inspire hints of color. all i can say is that after a hard past few days, i am finally beginning to feel as though there may be some color in the future after all.

im sure there will be more to write the next few days as the mountains (and God) continue to work their knowing magic.

a picture of the creek on the back of the farm property. also beautiful but pics of the mountains coming soon

feeling a bit restored,

annie em