pretend you're alive

Oh summer life, oh summer life, crawling with these worms, you're afraid of all their germs. oh bask in

life, oh bask in life, the weather gonna swallow you into the great divide, oh enjoy life, oh enjoy life,

climbing up those trees and breaking all your knees.

Watch angels in the morning become a devil's afternoon. I will panic in the evening underneath the

crashing moon. So fall in love while you can still hold your head up high, and pretend that you're alive

again. It's friends that leave you here in the end, so hold you head up high, and pretend that you're

alive again.

Now autumn brings the beautiful things, where all you give comes back to you like the crown upon my

king. Your life's a song, so sing along before the silence swallows you and leaves you like a pawn, watch

angels in the morning become a devil's afternoon, I will panic in the evening underneath the crashing

moon. So fall in love while you can still hold your head up high, and pretend that you're alive again.

It's friends that leave you here in the end, so hold your head up high and pretend that you're alive.

Your friends, now ghosts, are screaming "Bury us," they said, while panicking, my mind was broken.

more of my obsession

in a few weeks i am seeing these guys live...

i dont really know their stuff but i am excited nonetheless!

a bit about them...

the radio dept. is from sweden (a lot of good music seems to come from here) and

remains one of the biggest indie bands in the country

but no one has heard of them here go figure (most people in america seem to

have boring/bad music taste...not that i dont have my few guilty pleasure bands

but still, just saying...)

anyways the show is at 7th street entry (part of 1st ave.) and its acutally like 3 weeks i realized...

so im jumping the gun a bit but i couldnt wait! i love going to shows.

the last one i went to was last fall.

that one was the temper trap, delphic and hundred in the hands. actually ranks on top 5 shows i have been to believe it or not.

well it is creeping towards my bedtime as i do happen to have work tomorrow. blah.

adios,

annie em.

new songs...

'give me danger' or 'the rejection' by dangerous muse

'never follow suit' or 'heaven's on fire' by the radio dept.

'confusion girl' or '3 little words' by frankmusik

'night of the dancing flame' by róisín murphy

i shall expand later

^_^,

annie em

i'm going back home to the west coast.

recently as i have been thinking about life it has been decided with the help of my best friend ellie that we will be moving to the west coast one day after we graduate. i never have felt like i fit in here, so maybe there is hope for moving to another place. i have been out west several times and have loved it each trip.

this spring break we (ellie, her mum and i) are going to take a week long trip out to LA and then drive up the coast and end in seattle. i am excited not only to get away from here but also

to see a place where i could potentially end up in the future.

well i must run off to work, but here is one of my favorite songs, not surprisingly about the west coast!

enamored,

annie em

alice in wonderland.

it seems my creative side has done it again. the other day i had some friends over for a dinner party and it seemed we found ourselves in need of a centerpiece...so what better thing to do than design my own! it really was quite funny because it started out as just a centerpiece with a woodsy kind of theme but it turned into an Alice in Wonderland themed masterpiece!

designing this was actually quite fun. the pictures are hard to gain

the full effect but it was magical nonetheless!

[click pictures for larger view]

if i had to pick one word to describe myself or my style i think it could be classified a whimsical with a hint of darkness. exactly why i like alice in wonderland and other such things. so if you need any ideas sometime soon for a themed dinner, alice in wonderland is a great bet. just remember to find tons of mismatched teacups, some glitter and a hint of crazy

^_^,

annie em

ps...other whimsical things :

movie - penelope (personal favorite)

music video - 'walking on air' by kerli or 'tea party' defines the alice in wonderland part

it seems insomnia has taken its toll once again.

do you ever have those nights where your brain wont shut off no matter how hard you try? its like your brain decides to go over every decision, path or mistake that you have taken/made. all the would haves and could haves surface and come to haunt you.

why is it that the past can never simply stay in the past? it seems to find little ways to creep into the everyday present life and remind you of a former self. although that self may not be who you are anymore it still hurts to think about. memories are a curse and a blessing, but sometimes i do wish you could put them in a box and seal the lid shut tightly and only take them out when you want to see them.

no matter how much i want to change things or forget memories will always be there. it reminds me of the movie, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. if you have never heard of it it is definitely worth watching. basically its about a relationship which did not last but the woman has decided to have all her memories of her ex erased. it brings up the interesting concept of what would happen if we could simply just forget or erase those memories? is it cheating or helping in the end?

i am undecided on this because part of me thinks that life was destined to happen the way it was even if you mess it up. another movie example (well i feel somewhat smart now) is the butterfly effect. he tries to go back and change the past but it doesnt work because life has a set course of events and you cant do one thing without affecting the other. again, while i am undecided i sometimes lean more towards the butterfly effect way of thinking.

well it seems we are nearing the two thirty mark sadly but i will leave you with a late night melancholy song.

"naive orleans" [acoustic version] by Anberlin (off their album 'Lost Songs')

something to consider on this dark and lonely night,

annie em.

ni hao,

sorry i have missed a few days! tis back to work for me today so im writing this before i have to leave...

sooo

youtube video is still not up because camera was dead x_x

disheartening eh? i got all excited only to be let down. but never fear that is why they created chargers!

song of the day (even tho its old):

"not good enough for truth in cliche"

by escape the fate

from the album 'dying is your latest fashion'

i might not seem the type to like screamo, or as it is more formally called, post hard-core music, but i like some of it quite a lot. but then again my range of music is very broad to start with so there we go!

maybe i should dedicate this to posthardcore music (lightbulb moment!)

SO new discoveries

Asking Alexandria - from britain, they are fairly new...key track : "final episode (lets change the channel"

We Came As Romans - i am missing there show this sat :/ key track : "to plant a seed" or "broken statues"

old favorites

Watchout! There's Ghosts - this band comprised of jordan blake, the screamer from a skylit drive.. key track : "i'll take famous murders for 500" or "never you" they are no longer in existence though which is very sad.

A Skylit Drive - my all time favorite i think. wires and the concept of breathing is the best album by far.

Escape the Fate - obviously, however not the new stuff, only old. i dislike craig mabbit as the leader

I Am Ghost - discovered by my best friend jordan. good stuff. key track : "our friend lazarus sleeps"

there are many more but just a few should suffice for people looking for some good stuff to listen to. hopefully camera will work soon so i can jumpstart my youtube career. also here's an idea..if there are any music genres you want me to write about explore tell me!

work calls,

annie em

so today i got a wonderful tiny package in the mail containing the newest member to my family!

explanation....

i collect stuffed animals (yes i really do) and i call them my children hence also making them my family. now we are up to five kids and the newest could be by far the cuteest. he is a lil owl! and i am very proud. no names yet tho...any ideas? alright well now that it is official i am a huge dork i can get to it;

first things first-playlist for the day...

1. "idle and waiting" - umbrellas

2. "breakdown" - mae

3. "stolen" - dashboard confessional

4. "the attic" - fair

5. "black leaf falls" - sea wolf

6. "the haunting" - anberlin

so i have been thinking i want to become a youtuber. so tomorrow i am going to make my first video for my channel (i only have 1 other video right now) to jump start my new career as a 19 year old who isnt going to school for awhile. oh thats right im taking next semester off for anyone who didnt know already. .yep.

i'll post the link on here tomorrow for my channel so you can follow if you should so desire.

so for now i leave you with this videooo!

i agree,

annie em.

song of theee day: "come back when you can" by barcelona. heaven to your ears (even if it is a bit cliche with the lyrics...)

i am reminded of why i love music so much. because when all else fails at the end of the day a song can help to ease whatever it is that has caused you trouble in the first place. sometimes the fact someone else is singing the exact words you feel is comforting. they put into words what you might not be able to.

well thats all i got tonight; my brain is going dead at this hour i fear

night world,

annie em

extension.

that has nothing to do with anything except that i find it funny.

anyways so lets see...today was thrilling, i worked at pottery barn and am currently being lazy at home (one of the best things to do anyways).

tomorrow i work (but at costco this time) and buying hair extensions i think. oh and going to the bank, it was important you knew that.

well dont i live a thrilling life? anyways lets see.......

SO

there is this pretty sweet website that i discovered (don't know how) that has inspirations for rooms! well you can guess if i work at pottery barn that this would be like a drug to me since i am obsessed with design.

http://www.houzz.com/

that is the link. it shows rooms of all kinds and you can make your own lookbooks. i just redid my room, yet again so it was fun to take inspiration not only from my work but that website as well.

so random thing number two is done, so now we need a third. welllll another link (there seems to be a trend today) that you could follow is as follows.....

http://lookbook.nu/

its also another one of my favorite sights for inspiration.

ahhhh well it seems that inspiration is the key tonight although i dunno what the video inspires you to do...paint your face boys and girls.

inspired,

annie em.

la musica.

wellllll i just couldnt keep myself away from blogging another blog because i have so neglected it for such a long time (for which i am very sorry, dear blog). a n y w a y s

MUSIC

consumes my life and makes me happy SO

we are going to do a little list of a collection of my favorite songs from 2010.

hereeee we go.

(these are, by the way, in no particular order because if i tried to do that...well...it would be too hard)

'fader' - the temper trap

'happier' - a fine frenzy

'no excuses' - air france

'you're a wolf' - sea wolf

'cosmic love' - florence + the machine

'coffeelocks' - gavin castelton

'numbers dont lie' - mynabirds

'chinatown' - wild nothing

'sweet disposition' - the temper trap

'first class riot' - the tough alliance

'skeleton boy' - friendly fires

'koe o kikasate' - bigbang

'bambi' - tokyo police club

'black dirt' - sea wolf

'the city lights' - umbrellas

'too many questions' - sam sparro

'golden years' - the russian futurists

'dance the way i feel' - ou est le swimming pool

'the ghost inside' - broken bells

'gutter' - paper route

'feel it in my bones' - tiesto feat. tegan and sara

'my time' - minus the bear

'super girl' - super junior

'everyday' - vetiver

'all alright' - sigur ros

'prince henry' - sohodolls

'final episode (lets change the channel)' - asking alexandria

'to plant a seed' - we came as romans

'west coast' - coconut records

'when i'm alone' - lissie

'walk like a gentleman' - eye alaska

'this love (will be your downfall) - ellie goulding

who am i kidding....i cant possibly make a list summarizing them all. it would be far too long to be a summary then. but i do feel confident i can narrow down a few good albums.

1. the temper trap - 'conditions

2. sea wolf - 'leaves in the river'

3. florence + the machine - 'lungs'

so while the top song list epically failed, the albums didn't! so there we have it.

music,

annie em

2011...

well here we are. it seems a new year is underway [finally]....

here is a smattering of random thoughts from 2010 before we pack it away for good.

while two thousand ten was definitely not the year i'd expected, it shall go down in history as one that forever changed who i am. it was a year where i grew up and learned a lot not only about myself but about others as well.

there are people who walk in and out of our lives. sometimes they stay for a long time/permanently and sometimes the time is rather short. i have come to realize that while it is hard to accept comings and goings they really can be for the better.

some relationships fall apart and we may not always be fortunate enough to know why or how, but everything has a purpose and everything has a reason. even though the reason is not always clear at the time, it usually has a way of revealing itself in the end. if you had asked me a year ago how i was feeling about my life i would have told you that i was renewed and ready to make better decisions. however, it was a naive thing to say at the time as it was more a hope than an actual truism.

i was hoping that i was ready to be renewed when in reality i still had 'skeletons in the closet' i needed to deal with before renewal could be reached. all this to say, a year later i feel as though i can finally say with confidence that i am renewed and ready to take on life. sometimes it takes awhile to 'wake up and smell the coffee' as some would say, but its better to realize sometime rather than never.

someone once told me i am like an owl...wise, but sometimes a bit slow in reaching the final decision/discovery. this rings true to some extent for often i know the right answer or what i should do but i always think i can fix things on my own or i ignore the problem altogether (terrible coping strategy by the way). my owl-like tendencies if you will are a gift in disguise i think and i plan on embracing this in the future.

all this to conclude, it seems i am at a crossroads. sometimes it feels as though parts of my past are surreal; almost like a dream, between reality and wishing. im not sure if its because i have focused so much on the here and now that the past has dimmed or if because i have changed so much the past no longer carries such relevance anymore. the person i am now and the person i was seem to clash and therefore force out those memories almost as if they didnt happen...how's that for twisted psychology?

anyways back to this supposed crossroads...the past is behind the future ahead. feeling slightly more optimistic than i usually do (which is inspiring, no?), it has been determined that 2011 will surpass 2010 in greatness. i feel this is a cliche phrase everyone says in the new year but i dont plan on letting that fade.

we constantly change as we go through life. events wear on us and shape us (sometimes forceably) into being the people we were destined to be. its hard as hell sometimes, but contributes to making us stronger in the end.

goodbye 2010, although you had your highlights, 2011 will beat you.

renewed,

annie em

l'automne

well

it seems that fall has forgotten that it is not supposed to be eighty degrees and sunny. seriously. i want to sun to go away and the dark depressing cold weather of the fall/winter to come.

anyways

aside from my rantings about how the weather needs to change i have decided to dedicate this blog to things that have recently inspired me the most in life...and also new things i have just discovered. ^_^

1. Courney Brims

she is an Australian artist and if you know me at all you know that above all, i love art and even more so art that is creative and slightly off-beat/unique. (also any art that has focus on slightly morbid qualities hehe). i admire her whimsical style for i havent found with very many other artists who portray that kind of subject matter. (i also love that she draws foxes and owl as they are two of my favorite animals.) needless to say she has become quite a fascination of mine...for more, go here

http://www.courtneybrims.com/

2. dark poetry

as it is coming to the darker season of the year, i find myself in a time of reflection...but then again i always seem to be in a time of reflection, so maybe it is just more exaggerated with this weather...

one of my favorite poems that i have read so far was penned by Lord Byron, and 18th/19th century romantic poet. i find myself liking these poems so much perhaps because i admire the fact that someone else might once have felt like i did and actually written something from their heart. here it is....

my soul is dark- oh! quickly string the harp I yet can brook to hear; and let thy gentle fingers fling its melting murmurs o'er mine ear. if in this heart a hope be dear, that sound shall charm it forth again: if in these eyes there lurk a tear, 'twill flow and cease to burn my brain.

but bid the strain be wild and deep nor let thy notes of joy be first: i tell thee, minstrel, i must weep or else this heavy heart will burst; for it hath been by sorrow nursed and ached in sleepless silence long; and now 'tis doomed to know the worst and break at once- or yield to song.

that is all for tonight, but the list will continue on !

happily,

annie em

ni hao

sooo....

the second week of school is well underway.

opinions...

i am not the biggest fan of my school. the people i have classes with are nice and so are my teachers, but i find the school itself is....well no university.

i could be much meaner about it, but its probably best not to be to descriptive. ^_^

anyways,

what saves me from totally quitting there are my language classes.

today alone, i had all three! it is quite the task to make my brain go from chinese to french to german all within 5 hrs of each other. but i figure that this will only make my brain better at thinking, so voila!

the only problem is that now my brain tries to think in 5 different languages. ha. fun right?

not to worry though, i actually really do like it.

it makes me realize how much i was not meant to live in the boring state of minnesota where no one ever does anything new, let alone learn a language (unless it is required). i really dont know why i never thought to do more languages before. the signs have been there all along!

in both college and high school spanish i was one of the only ones who truly loved learning and speaking the language. well i guess you know what they say...hindsight is 20/20...kinda makes sense.

anyways, at least i am on the right track now.

so as of now i have

english (i would hope) and

spanish

under my belt

and am learning

chinese

french

german

and want to eventually learn

japanese

korean

italian

hmmm so if i succeed i will be able to speak 8 languages...

sounds good to me! it will be a great aid in my ambitions to travel the world.

but for now its study study study...

and oh, study some more.

i dont mind it though because i am a dork and i think learning languages is fascinating and incredibly fun! estoy loca, no?

pues, ich must estudiar ahora (german and spanish put together hehe)

twill be an interesting night filled with french and chinese...how...odd

combinations,

annie em

new beginnings.

here i am...having completed my first day a la escuela nueva. it feels slightly odd to be not returning back to the place i have gone to school the past two years. but nonetheless i feel much freer than i ever did at bethel.

i love my language classes already and tomrorow is the first day of my art ones. it seems that life is more enjoyable knowing i can pay for school and begin to save for where i really want to spend

my time and money...

possible options are:

Judson University in chicago

Madison University (WI)

and thats about all i got right now.

AR is only a temporary fix until i find what really matters.

so anyways

i think this calls for a little random deviation from the natural topic of this blog...

ready?

subject change to...

kyuhyun.

i have recently (over the past few months) developed a fascination with asian culture and yes, one of my guily pleasures has become kpop music (korean pop)

some may call this slightly dorky, but i can tell you that it is addicting and highly entertaining...so what does kyuhyun have to do about all of this?

well glad you would ask!

he just so happens to be a very sexy member in one of the largest kpop groups, super junior....

(he is the one in the middle)

so anyways...to summarize. korean = pretty damn sexy.

there is proof.

it adds to my desire to go visit korea ^_^

just a little sparkle for your day,

annie em

musings

why hello.

and may i say what nice weather it has been. i do declare that this is what summer should be like all the time. none of this 90% humidity nonsense or whatever the heck it is...

i must say i cannot be more excited for fall.

anyways to say the least, things in life finally seem to have sorted themselves out. as this summer draws to a close i find myself looking back on many things in life, not only just in the past few years. this has been the summer of remembrance and realizing that everything in life happens for a reason. while one may not know the exact reason, i have discovered that the reason will usually present itself at some point (not always right when you need it however).

ellie just came to visit and i already cannot wait until we visit each other again. we unknowingly signed up for many of the same classes next semester so that should be interesting.

speaking of which, it is goodbye to bethel for me and hello to a school for which i dont need to pay an arm and a leg for. i am quite happy with this decision and i think it will be for the best. current school schedule...

Chinese

French

Drawing II

Painting I

folks it doesnt get much better than that (unless of course i was taking korean or german as well) there are many more languages to learn after all! the goal is ten by the way. i already know two so i am what, 1/5 of the way there.

so with school finally set in place i feel as though i can actually breathe a little easier again.

job hunting is ...well going. possible contenders include Pottery Barn and Costco. i need two jobs anyways with all the extra time on my hands.

so this blog was very boring...but i am thinking the next one will involve some very sexy men who happen to be from Korea.... ^_^

feeling optimistic,

annie em

i write to you from the mountains

yes

i am indeed in the mountains right now...well not IN them persay but fairly close.

im visiting my friend, Sam, who i know from school.

its very nice to be able to have a week away from life in MN to be able to experience a new state (COLORADO!) and clear my head for the weeks to come. ever notice how when one thing goes wrong/changes everything else either goes wrong/changes too.

its rather annoying and i find myself highly irritating that life tends to work this way, but then i suppose it wouldnt be called life.

i just turned nineteen 4 days ago and it makes me realize how little i know about the world and about myself. i had thrown myself into college a good year and a half earlier than most people so for the past 2 years i have been making choices which i should have just now been

making...major, schools, classes, ect.

sometimes the outlook on life seems very bleak and uncertain as it does now, but all i need to do is stand still and look. when i saw the mountains bike riding today i stopped riding and looked out into the landscape. i was overcome by a few great feelings....freedom, awe and hope.

i felt so free, like i couldnt have a care in the world. the large open space was where i could let my soul roam free and taste the carefree feelings that i so long for. awe at the God who created such a beautiful sight. and this awe led to feeling a little hopeful. surely a God who can inspire such freedom and awe must provide us with hope (as i know He does).

there is hope, it is sometimes just very hard to remember.

while i have many things i need to decide on right now, the mountains help me to remember what i need to do (and wow that sounds extremely cheesy, but oh so true).

tonight i talked with a friend which i had not spoken with for quite awhile. we had a very good talk because both of us are going/have gone through similar situations. he reminded me of how i am not the only one who deals with various problems and hurts. we are all suffering in a way and i am a believer that God puts people in our lives intentionally to help us deal with certain trials. for however brief or long a time they are there or if they come or go, they make the gray outlook we face seem a bit brighter and maybe even inspire hints of color. all i can say is that after a hard past few days, i am finally beginning to feel as though there may be some color in the future after all.

im sure there will be more to write the next few days as the mountains (and God) continue to work their knowing magic.

a picture of the creek on the back of the farm property. also beautiful but pics of the mountains coming soon

feeling a bit restored,

annie em

renewed?

i got the urge the other day at work to start writing blogs again. its been at least 3 months since my last one so i feel like its about time i wrote another one.

to start off with, life has taken a turn for the ...well i dunno if its best or worst. a little bit of both in a way

best / better - for once in a long time i feel somewhat free again. like i dont have to worry about certain things in my past. i feel like i can be independent and myself to some degree. i am much more confident than i was a few years ago which is a great improvement.

worst - home life. some people dont understand what it is like to come from a family where you feel so disconnected from your parents. they are supposed to be the two people in the world you can trust with anything and they should know you inside and out. i have neither of those two things which is sad. not only do my parents not know who i am, but they would kick me out of the house in a second for making one minor mistake. i know from experience within this last week. my dad basically told me that if i got so much as one little tatoo i would get kicked out of my house. now i had always thought my dad was the chill one who was actually somewhat sane in the ruder family, but he proved himself wrong. i honestly dont know how a parent could kick their kid out because of one little thing they decided to get on their body. while i dont have a tatoo yet, i have been thinking about getting one for awhile now, but i would get it somewhere that is easily hideable. to say the least, after i heard that spiel from my dad, i became very upset and left the house for about 3 hours. i am so frustrated by my parents and their hard-headedness and lack of openness to new ideas. because i am a person who is very much so based on being non-judgemental you can imagine how many problems this leads to in my everyday life.

to continue on (i guess by now you have noticed things have been more on the worse side as opposed to better) i basically decided that i want out of the house ASAP. i cannot stand it here anymore and i cannot stand my parents. the only things i would regret about leaving home would be leaving my sister and my brother. i wouldnt want to leave them in this place where i know they would just end up being worse off.

tonight me and steph looked at apartments.

i just want to be free. free from parents, free from a school i pay way too much to go to, free from the past, free from anything weighing me down, free from being weak.

there is so much right now that i just became confused about and i dont know what to do. it just proves to me that the only people i can trust in the world are myself and God. I learned these lessons the hard, and hurtful way. its not always easy to accept but i think my two new life mottos are 'talk is cheap' and 'what doesnt kill you makes you stronger'....ok well the last one has always been one of my mottos but still.

"remember to look over your shoulder, because the world is a cruel place"

- quote from Oma (wise woman, that one)

im in a bit of a depression, someone please pull me out.

annie em.

a fine frenzy.

So....

music influences in my life are HUGE
i probably listen to music at least 5 hours a day. maybe more.

silence bothers me sometimes and music fills it up and makes you feel better.

there is nothing better than finding a song or artist who can whip up some good lyrics either (as i have said before)

one artist i want to write about, because her influence upon me has been huge, is Alison Sudol of A Fine Frenzy. in my opinion she is classified as an indie singer/songwriter who has a wondrously haunting voice and unusual lyrics (at times). however, i love her music nonetheless.

Right now she has two albums out, One Cell in the Sea and Bomb in a Birdcage. i havent had a chance yet to really listen to the newest album, (BiaB) but from what i hear it is much different from OCithS.

I fell in love with her first album because of the significance it seemed to play in my life. and the music was beautiful as well. one of my all time favorite songs by her...well ok i have to pick more than one... so three....

1) Almost Lover

2) Come On, Come Out

3) Ashes & Wine

off One Cell in the Sea

Her lyrics are so powerful and they make you actually feel emotion. you can tell that she really does put her heart and soul into what she does. it makes me commend her all the more because i feel that music these days has lost its meaning in a way. now, anyone can be in music, but it takes a truly talented person to get it right in my opinion. alison definitely accomplishes this.

to say the least, if you havent had the chance as least give her a try. she is an amazing musician with a lot of talent. her music videos are really good too if you get the chance.

admiring,

annie em.

a random post. among many others...

today is easter, He is risen. im starting not to be a fan of family holidays anymore, but today was ok for one i guess. me and my sister (and also best friend) hung out the whole time at Oma's house and watched ferris bueller's day off (BIG fan of the 80's by the way) and sleeping beauty. what a combination.
anyways, to say the least, it was an ok time. it was just my family and then the aunt and uncle. maybe i would be more inclined to family gatherings if they were bigger and had more people my age..but oh well. my sister is all the company i need!
so aside from watching movies, we snuck onto a golf course and had a mini photo shoot. man i love photography. if only i had endless amounts of money to spend on things i love; i would have bought myself a nice expensive camera a loooong time ago.
here are some of our brilliant pics (i picked my faves)

my beautiful sister.

the dynamic duo

it wasnt a huge photo shoot, kind of impromptu and whatnot, but oh well. it will be fun this summer because i plan on doing a lot of experimentation with photography and such. the summer is always a good time to find something you are interested in and explore it. because what else are you going to do with massive amounts of time?

so that concludes random part #1...now to begin other random things

this is my blog description thing, but i am changing it so i wanted to post it here so i would always remember it...

"i'm letting go, giving it up. its all Yours now. do what you will, have your way and i'll follow. whatever the outcome, i'll live for You alone."

that has been on my blog for awhile now, but what does it mean exactly? well it serves as a reminder to myself of what i am living for. i wrote it because of certain situations that i was dealing with in my life at the time and because of my failed attempts at trying to deal with things. too many times, we try to help ourselves without remembering that we dont have to go it alone. we have Him to help and guide us.

So the spark behind the phrase is to be reminding myself when i freak out over things i cant control or things i dont know that i need to place my trust and let things go. interestingly enough, the pastor at church this morning was saying something along the lines of 'when you put God first and make Him your priority, everything else will fall into place'...

but of course, as with many things, it is much easier said than done. i have decided its time to make a concious effort again to stop trying to control the world. we just have to accept that things cant always go our way and sometimes we dont know why things happen or what the outcome will be but we just have to tell ourselves, "whatever the outcome, I'll live for you alone."

peace is living,

annie em.