musings.

life...

what to say.
sometimes things go your way and sometimes they dont and there is nothing you can do about it.

lately there has been so much to think about it seems impossible to pick a spot to start at. you know that feeling when your mind is going a million trillion miles an hour and you can't slow it down even for a second to try to fuction normally or even sleep? well welcome to my brain's daily life. i wish life wasn't so complicated or sometimes i find myself wishing to go back in time.
but then i think of everything in the current light and how the past has only helped to make me a stronger person today, which is a good thing, but it doesn't make it any easier at times. it doesn't mean you won't have bad days where you hurt like hell and just feel like dying or sleeping your life away. those days are bound to come for everyone sooner or later, but it is what we do with those days and how we choose to deal with them that really matters.
what it comes down to is that we are all broken people and struggle with so many things, but that doesn't mean we have to be alone. there is One who always promises to be there for us even when it seems impossible, One who will never judge us for our faults or wrongdoings. God is there and His love is so unbelievable that we don't even deserve it in the first place, yet he has this amazing grace that readily welcomes us back when we have been astray.
i am so incredibly thankful for this because i am by no means perfect and i know for a fact that there are many things in my life i wish i could take back or do-over. but then it comes back to the fact that within Christ we are made new and you can start over with Him and He still loves you just the same.
today a friend showed me a verse that was very applicable to how i have been feeling lately and i really appreciated it. the verse is Psalms 38 : 17-18....

"the righteous cry out and the LORD hears them, he delivers them from all their troubles. the LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

this is only proof that whatever we go through in life, Jesus walks right beside us and carries us through everything. though it won't always be easy, it is so comforting to know that you don't have to go it alone. that thought alone is what is getting me through. whatever we do, WE ARE NOT ALONE. this is way more than our pathetic human existence ever deserved, yet God gave us His unconditional love and devotion expecting nothing from us in return but to love Him. that is so incredible awesome and i can't even understand it myself.

those are my current thoughts for tonight, but seeing as life (school) still has to go on, bed is calling my name. more to come.

standing in awe,
annie em.